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Hypo-Mania 2017

So, to the best of my knowledge, I haven’t been hypo-manic since my teens! Wtf!! The closer I look the more I realize I’ve been “acting weird” for close to 2 months.  Duh! Right?!?! The thought of having anything other than a “manic moment” which, I sometimes get frequently.

Life is hard, we’re struggling and doing our best not to upset anyone.  Some things are looking up, others are being managed or treated.  My mind races to the point that I may catch 1 thought out of 25-50 of them.  Sometimes that comes with PTSD symptoms (thankfully not at this moment), extreme emotional instability, severe anxiety & panic. It also helps get things accomplished faster too lol!

Right now I’m sitting on my bed trying to decide what to do.  But like this, in this hypo-manic state I notice things.  🎶 is greater! I took a long hot bath followed by a long shower.  Almost completely drained the hot water tank down to nothing.  Realized I should get out of the shower when I started soaping up again for the 4th time in a row.  I shaved, relaxed & washed my hair good with lots of hot water instead of the usual cold/cool (The only purpose for this is to maintain my Twisted Teal hair colour.  I bought more dye today along with a finger nail painting accessory, a tattoo colouring book (for Kev & I) an Amopé foot filer and some meds and such.  My girl Trina told me she didn’t mind doing my hair so I’ll talk to her soon.

I’ve done (with help) the dishes, made supper, had 1/2 my night meds and contemplating the other 1/2.  I can skip the sleepers.  Never mind, it’s in my best interest to take what I can.  So I just took a modified dosage, because it’s now 6:19am & I haven’t slept in close to 24 hours.  So I took 1 sleeper instead of 2, but everything else was as per usual (just WAY later than even my late nights).

So I’m doing it all lol!  Not sleeping enough at night, always wanting/needing to be doing something no matter how small.  Wanting to read EVERYHING at the same time!  No jk, I have 4 books, 1 cook book, 2 Archie Comics, 1 Kobo, 10-12 colouring books, markers, pencils, my back pack full of bullet journaling “equipment” lol, my Kobo & cell/iPod charger cables and cube, my purse, a huge bottle of water, Ranch Doritos, hand cream, eye drops )on the bed) and last but not least my slippers by the bed.

I think I’m gonna try and get some 💤 before my pill alarm goes off at 10am.  Good night folks! 

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Dewey’s #Readathon – Hour 12

Sorry about the late post everyone.  It’s been a long day & I haven’t had time to write anything up.  Even now, I’m at a loss for words.  I’ve been so looking forward to this event ever since April’s ended lol!  April was a hard month, personally & I couldn’t keep focus enough to even finish 1 book.

This time around, I made a medium sized box with different authors & different genres.  I’ve had it done since late September!  I’ve been really setting myself up good!  Unfortunately time is not my friend.  I spent time at the library this morning getting an audiobook on Martin Short while my hubby took a free basic video editing course for 2 hours.  He was just doing it because it was a different program & for something different to do.  He knows some Photoshop so…lol.  While there, I read for an hour (already being hour 2 or 3) & then we left to go home.  

We got home & shortly thereafter is when we were caught by a family emergency so I have read very little unfortunately.  I’m gonna keep reading & aim to finish my current read.  

So far I’m loving this books and am definitely gonna be looking at investing in the rest of the ENTIRE series!!  Happy reading everyone!

#30daysofreadathon

Hey everyone!!!

This fall’s Dewey’s 24 Hour Readathon has morphed for us book lovers! #30daysofreadathon is the tag for lots of book loving fun from now until Dewey’s on the 21-22 of October. 

This is my TBR for the month!

These are the challenges! They are also on Goodreads & Facebook! Today we are Day 24, so the discussion revolves around drinks!


This is my Family! We celebrated Rosie’s 1year adoption anniversary yesterday so she got spoiled lol!

Happy reading folks! I’ll hopefully be posting more often. ❤️😻💋

Crazy A@&? Summer 2017

This summer started early for me.  Let’s say mid May when I decided to take an unexpected trip back home to Ontario.  As you’re all aware, I suffer from Bipolar 2 among other issues related to mental health.  This trip was needed to save my sanity! Some things were going on (on my side of the country) that I shall not discuss for many reasons.  I was feeling particularly down and depressed among other things.  

So, I discussed, decided, made travel plans & flew out 3 days later.  A very rash & unplanned trip.  I feared mania, but could do nothing about it besides riding the wave, which (thankfully) didn’t come.  My dad picked me up at Pearson, in Toronto, Ontario, & he drove the solid 4 hours, he had literally just driven, home to mom & dad’s house beside my Mere.  While I was visiting I visited everyone I was able to see. I had coffee, 🍓, pop & lots of water.  I spent some time in the sun when I shouldn’t have, went on my first motorcycle ride with my dad & learned how to cut the grass (never my chore to do as a child so, I didn’t know how to lol 😂).  I tried to get up at a decent hour no matter when I had gone to bed (after watching endless NCIS reruns with my dad 😜) the night before.

I tried to be more present in conversations and less distracted by my cell phone, unless I was taking pics/videos.  I got to watch some softball games & enjoyed them!  Imagine that!  Helps when you have someone to cheer for lol!  I got to spend more time with my “older brother” (mom’s BFF’s son), his great wife and 2 of my beautiful nieces.  Got my hair trimmed & re-dyed “Twisted Teal”.  I read, I coloured, I listened to music, watched t.v. and visited as much as I could.  My aunt gave me a box full of books by some of the many authors I currently have in my library.

I came home to New Brunswick after driving to Montreal with my dad & uncle to catch the bus through to Moncton.  What a ride!  I’m such a nervous passenger sometimes, wow!  In the end, their car ride saved me 16 hours of bus terminal sitting.  I very much appreciate everything they did.  I appreciate everyone for taking the time to spend time with me.  It really means a lot & I am both thankful and greatful for having you as part of my life and family. ❤️❤️❤️

Shortly after arriving home, my brother-in-law, sister-in-law along with their 3 kids came down to Kevin’s parents house.  We got to spend load of time with them because they stayed about a month or so.  We got to go to Fundy National Park, Get Air (indoor trampoline park).  We got to get lots of pics and play games with them.  They are Vegans so, naturally we tried some different foods, lentil soup being one of the best!  We went to the market, the play parks and just basically spent a lot of time at my in-laws (which is ok by me). 

After my brother-in-law & family left, we had a massive cleaning ahead of us.  We figured out that, in the 17 years we’ve been together, we have never been completely at home on our own.  We’ve lived with my parents, my Memere & my parents a few times lol, but in our own places we were never unpacked or comfortable or safe or whatever.  Anyone know what I mean? 🤔 Incentive: my Mère, 2 of my cousins & a friend were coming to the east coast for the first time (3rd for my Mère).  We went batshit crazy & thankfully (this time) I had several manic moments that propelled us along very quickly.  We got the ENTIRE apartment cleaned, organized and unpacked (save 1 box full of candles) th day before they arrived.  The floors were done the morning before they arrived. 

With my cousins, friend & Mere we went and did some local stuff like TreeGo (www.treegomoncton.com).  My cousins, the younger one’s friend & Kevin) went to the Boardwalk to do mini golf, go carting, batting cages ect…  I stayed home to get a little cleaning and whatnot done, while my Mère stayed with me and got some reading done (see where I get it from lol 🤣😜).  My Mère stayed with us for a day while the other 3 visited a bit of Nova Scotia.  They saw Peggy’s Cove and went for supper with a friend.  We all went to P.E.I. For the day.  We walked the beach at the Confederation Bridge.  This bridge is 14km long and both sides are barricaded with concrete battiers. I drove my cousin’s car to the island while she sight saw and she drove it at night when we came back to New Brunswick.  We went to Cavendish Beach, Cavendish Boardwalk and The Warf seafood restaurant in North Rustico, P.E.I. What a meal!  Holy cow 🐄 expensive $$$!!  It was ok to do once but, I’ll never go back because of their prices.  Got a beautiful handmade set of earrings there though!  We visited new places and some that Kev and I had previously been to.  Overall, it was a great day!  My cousin’s and their friend got to swim in the ocean and o hot my Mère to step in with me! 

Now September is here and things have calmed down. Kev and I are getting up around the same time every morning and aiming for the same thing at bed time.  I’m taking my meds and trying to spend more time enjoying life.  We’ve even started walking every day. We are maintaining the apartment and Rosie now has free reign of the place.  She just got herself kicked out of the bathroom today though cause she won’t stop tearing the shower curtain. 

So I haven’t had a lot of time to read, but I’m ok with that.  Somewhere along the line I’ve realized that I have never in my memory (so, basically since age 9) taken things one day at a time without expecting the worst.  I have taken a new shine to life and hope that it can help me overall.  Life is worth living and I plan on doing more enjoying and less skepticism.  

Journey Home to NB

As planned, & as expected, we left my parents house in Northern Ontario to start our trip to Montreal about 30 minutes over schedule.  But we were armed with water, snacks and of course, LIFE BLOOD lol, coffee!

I tried napping & reading but neither held my attention.  So I ended up staring out the windows of the car & closing my eyes.  We stopped for supper somewhere around 4:30pm EST in Pembroke ON.  I tried to pay and was beat out by my dad.  Somehow I’ll make it up to him 😈  Dad drove the entire trip down and shortly after we entered the concrete jungle that is Montreal QC, after a wrong turn, no parking and a whole lot of curse words, English & French I believe lol, we finally found the Grey Hound bus depot.

My dad and my uncle waited with me while I got my tickets exchanged (long story), took a bathroom and smoke break.  Once they were sure I knew where I was going they headed out on the long trip back home for them.  I however, was only done the first leg of the journey home to Kev & Rosie.  I still had 17 hours ahead of me.

The bus trip was LONG & crowded.  It was an overall exhausting trip.  It’s boring alone because I’m not the type to strike random conversation with a total stranger.  If there’s common ground then I will sometimes initiate a conversation, but I always feel dumb doing it.  I was almost in New Brunswick when I spoke to my dad.  They had a good trip back and had just arrived when his phone rang.  It was 2:30am EST.

After another bunch of hours, which seemed endless, I arrived in Moncton NB.  I was the first person off the bus & had my luggage out before anyone else lol, no joke! My hubby, Kevin, was there to welcome me home & he brought fresh LIFE BLOOD!!  God I love that man!💕

We went to the liquor store & grocery store before making it home from the bus station lol. They happen to be across the street from each other 🤣.  Next, we brought my luggage home, put groceries away and opened some windows before heading to my in-laws to get Rosie 😻 and her belongings lol!  

Overall, the trip was long and boring because I couldn’t stay focused on my book.   So I did a lot of staring out the windows and chatting with my new seat mate & her little therapy dog Johnny Cash (J.C.) until they got out in Fredericton NB.  After that I had my own seat and kept to myself.  I got myself as presentable as one can be after spending 16 hours crammed into a bus seat beside some random person.  I tried to nap for the last 2 hours, but to no avail 😡

So I slept extremely little, read a little, played games on my cell &, let’s not forget, viewed the beautiful country side of Northern NB from the giant windows of the coach bus. 

I am eternally greatful for my family for being the best support network this girl could ever ask for.  Thanks for your hospitality Mom & Dad!  Thanks to my Mère for spending time with me during the days & all my friends and family for having coffee & shooting the suit with me.  I’ve come home with a full soul & an overflowing sense of love, admiration & respect for all of you. 

Much Love!! ❤️💋💕😘

Departure – Trip Home

So, I was all set to take the bus all the way back home. Turns out, instead of 23 1/2 hrs it was gonna be a 36hr bus ride. I’ll admit, I freaked a little at first but eventually got over it and convinced my dad I’d be fine, even with 2 lay overs (both 6hrs long) nothing but 3 hrs apart. I set up a mini Readathon and everything.

Then yesterday (hrs before departure), my dad, uncle and Mere decided they really didn’t like the lay overs. They’ve decided to drive me to Montreal so I can miss the lay overs and have a shorter bus ride. I was reluctant at first, but eventually gave in under the condition that they could get me there 1 1/2 hrs before the bus leaves. That way I have time to ship my box of books, have a smoke and then wait in a hopefully shorter line up.

So that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I (as a 32 yr old woman) ends up in a car with 2 other adults, a box of books, a purse, 2 suit cases, 1 lunch bag & a whack load of junk food end up in my Mere’s car on the way to Montreal. We have a few stops to make before departure, but hopefully short ones.

We are 2 hrs 15 mins from leaving and I’m all packed and ready to go with only 10 minutes warning. I’m all set for the trip. I got books, movies & music all set to be used. If anyone wants to join me, I’m starting a 24in48 Readathon starting at 12 noon EST today. Wish me luck & I’ll see you on the flip side!

Vaca Day 22 – Update

So I’ve been in Ontario (Canada) @ my parents house for 22 days.  I’ve visited good friends and re-connected with my little (30yr old) brother.  It’s been soul healing at its best. 

I am learning to appreciate the little things again.  The smells of home and the feels of familiarity & serenity.  I am exceedingly thankful to both my parents for putting up with me.

I am trying to improve myself both mentally & emotionally.  I’ve barely been reading so, I’ll have to make up for it on the 23 & 1/2 hrs bus ride back home.  But I’ve had great conversations & lots of laughs along the way.  

I hope to work more on taking better care of myself by taking regular baths to relax & by starting to read my bible everyday. I also wanna pick up my bullet journal up from where I left it off.  Then I wanna try & get into walking at least a few blocks a day.  Here’s to a good week!

All About Me

Not so long ago I found myself being discontent with myself & to put it bluntly “dead inside”.  I had a meltdown & couldn’t stop crying.  I sat on our bed & told my amazing hubby what was going on in my head.  Like a trooper, he sat beside me and asked what he could do.  I told him there was nothing.  I just was/am not happy with myself. 

After long talks, I decided I would go back home to Ontario to try and sort myself out some.  I assured him that there was no problem with him or with us, because there isn’t.  We are in a good place finally after what we’ve been through since just before we married 5 yrs ago.  We aren’t fighting or anything and generally are getting along much better.  I suspected my meds needed to be tweaked again.  

So I made quick arrangements to fly home for a few weeks to work on me.  I brought a few books, cloths, bullet journaling gear and that’s pretty much about it. I figure I’ll stay for 3 1/2 – 4 weeks.  Hopefully by then I’ll have had sufficient time to get my ass in gear and have mad some progress with me.

Dewey’s Summary

I made it through the entire #Readathon this time! I didn’t even have to take a nap either!  Here’s how I did overall:
Finished:

Alex by Sawyer Bennett

Spider Bones by Kathy Reichs
Listened to:

Still Foolin’ ‘Em by Billy Crystal (80% ish)
Completely Read:

Dirty by Kylie Scott (275 pages)
Started:

Seal Code by Sharon Hamilton (17%)
Overall I’m pretty impressed with myself this time around.  Can’t wait for the next readathon in October!!!  How did you fare? Better or worse than you expected/planned?

Hour 21

Here in my living room listening to the audiobook “Still Goolin’ Em” by Billy Crystal.  I’ve done really good today overall.  I started off by finishing up 2 books, one of which I’d been on for a while.

I didn’t nap, but I did lay down and close my eyes while listening to my audio book between 2:30am & 4:30am.  Now it’s an hour later and I think I’m gonna switch back to my new book, which I’ve got just over 50% read today.


Rosie decided to couch crash with me while I read the last stretch.  It’s getting light out & I am proud of myself for sticking it out longer than I did in October.  Maybe the extra cup of coffee at 12:30am helped lol! 

Stay strong everyone!  The end draws near!