So, here we are, December 8, 2017. The last several months have been sketchy for me. I’ve been hypo, I’ve been depressed, I’ve been suicidal & I’ve been happy. That’s not to say that these are the only emotions I have felt. I have been bombarded by emotion & left completely naked without any. All of this has been going on inside me.
Welcome to a “mixed state”! It’s everything and nothing all at once. I go from content or full of emotions to completely bereft with my loss over them. This is a state of mind I vaguely remember from my teens. It’s scary as hell and exhilarating like a roller coaster. I can’t seem to function without 🎶 & God forbid I accidentally forget a med 🤯. Although, I have been remembering to take them basically every day. Now I have to remember to take ALL my vitamins as prescribed! I forget them more than I take them 😔.
So, that being said, I’d like to try & sum up what 2017 was like for me:
January started with an ER trip. I’ll sum it up for you. Surgery because of an abscess that refused to allow me to pee. Basically, it was really bad & I ended up in Acute ER & Trauma for surgery. That took FOREVER to heal & may still need a minor surgery in a few months depending on what the Dr. says at my next follow up. On a completely unrelated issue, I had another minor surgery on December 4, 2017. Just the way I both wanted to start and finish my year.
I’ve been suicidal and at other times, mostly content. It’s been a ride with the devil through what felt like Death Valley. I know that compared to many, I have no right or reason to complain. I am very lucky and privileged and I know it. I try to help others when I can and that means both donations and smiles. I’m kind to my neighbours & strangers in general.
There were a lot of first time events with Rosie! Her 1st Birthday being the main thing. She got to spend a month with Grandma & Gramps Lutzac. I went home in mid May for some me time and got back for Canada Day. We celebrated our Nation’s 150th Birthday among the crowds & fireworks!
I’ve done a fair share of reading, although not as much as I would have liked. So far, I’ve only reached 50/75 in my Goodreads Challenge. I’ve got 12 books open & am actively bouncing between 6. I have a Readathon starting in a few minutes. I hope to read a lot during this last one of the year. There’s some hope though, lol, there are still 23 days left & @ least 1 Readathon! Hear of any other Readathons please let me know! Any excuse to read lol!!! We’re planning a quiet Christmas with just us and Rosie, so lot of reading and movie marathons will be participated in!!! On October 21st (mom’s birthday) dad had a major heart attack. He had 3 blockages: one @ 90%, 70% & 50%. The cardiologist put a stent in the 90% blockage. He had to spend a few days in the hospital and then he was on weight restrictions and bend/lift restrictions as well as not being able to work. This was a HUGE adjustment period of 2-3 weeks. He was starting to go stir crazy ’cause all he could do was visit my Mère (his mom) next door or watch t.v. I imagine that’s quite boring when he’s used to being on the go always.
The rest of the year has been a dervish full of other personal & family matters. It just never seems to end. We are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is this what being alive and being an adult means? Obviously not, but it’s certainly the way it feels sometimes. One day at a time. One foot in front of the other! We ants march on and on!
Here’s to New Year’s Eve! Hubby @lutzy080 & I are ringing in the New Year at a Hedley concert! This is a Christmas present from Kev’s mom. Amazingly generous of her. ❤️❤️❤️